1 00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:03,871 [Instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:07,108 And with that, Ton' you are set for the holiday season. 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,410 All right. Hold on, hold on. 4 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,278 Woo! 5 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,114 Boy, I got your line tighter than Lil Wayne's Skinny Jeans. 6 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,349 [Chuckling] 7 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,518 Always appreciate your way with words. 8 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:18,452 My brother. 9 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:19,187 My man. 10 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:19,720 All right. 11 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,655 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ton', Ton', Ton'. 12 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,625 Look, uh, what's this? 13 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,394 That green paper? It's called money. 14 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:27,461 I can take it back if you don't want it. 15 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,130 Oh no, no. I want it man but, uh, 16 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,032 I mean you know you always, [laughing] my tip. 17 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,402 Oh yeah, her, here's a tip. Uh, when you charge 18 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,537 thirty dollars for a haircut the tip is built in. 19 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,507 Wow. Cheap ass. 20 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,077 Look man, business is a little slow, so money's a little tight right now. 21 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,713 Hey Ton', I got a tip for you. 22 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:46,147 Hmm. 23 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,048 Don't ever front on your barber, man. 24 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,317 You never know what Rodney could do. 25 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,819 He could slip up and give you a permanent part. 26 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:52,786 [Chuckling] 27 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:53,254 Check. 28 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,890 Donnie, you're playing checkers, not chess. 29 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,226 Okay, well king me. 30 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,830 Look man, it's the holiday season, you know. 31 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:06,234 Money's tight. Gotta buy gifts and presents, you know. Christmas shopping. 32 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:06,834 I hear ya, man. 33 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,002 Psh. You still believe in Christmas, Ton'? 34 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,571 Like you don't? 35 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,474 I mean, I like the gifts, but I mean holidays were 36 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:16,510 just created by andquot;the man to get us to spend money. 37 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,647 Think about, man. Christmas, we gotta buy presents. 38 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,915 Halloween, we gotta buy candy. 39 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,951 Valentine's Day we gotta buy flowers. 40 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,720 Depending on how many women you got in life, that could be expensive. 41 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,524 Not to mention Fourth of July and President's Day, the list goes on and on. 42 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,760 Nobody spends money on President's Day. 43 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,128 President's do! 44 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,064 They gotta pay for limousines, helicopters, 45 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,267 they gotta hire Jay-Z to perform at the White House. 46 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,271 I mean, he gotta point, man. President's do ball out on President's Day. 47 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,104 Everybody know that. 48 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,608 Yeah, man. I'm just not trying to support the whole movement 49 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,811 of, of just spending all my money for this so-called economy. 50 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,780 Which doesn't exist in the first place. 51 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,915 You don't think the economy exists? 52 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,351 It's not real. It's make-believe, man. 53 00:01:57,385 --> 00:02:00,221 I'll tell you what. You show me where the economy is on a map, 54 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:01,855 I'll go there right now. 55 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,224 No, the economy's like this. 56 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,193 I get a cut from Rodney. 57 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,095 Rodney goes and buys a sandwich. 58 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,432 Sandwich shop owner makes enough money to hire me to construct him a new shop. 59 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,466 Money goes 'round and 'round. 60 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,236 So, where's Donnie in this so-called equation? 61 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,838 Well, Donnie's probably not going to be in that scenario 62 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,140 because all those people got jobs and they work. 63 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,810 [Laughing] 64 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,914 * Woke up and my wife said to me 65 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,417 * The bill collectors won't let me be 66 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,785 * Kids keep talking back to me. 67 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,421 * Family Time 68 00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:38,692 * Family Time, Family time, Family Time 69 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,899 Tony, come to bed. 70 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:46,767 In a minute, Baby. 71 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:51,305 Come to bed and now I'll make it worth your while? 72 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,241 Oh yeah? You got some money hiding in the mattress? 73 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,475 What? What? 74 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,310 Hey, I'm just saying, business is business. 75 00:02:56,644 --> 00:03:00,080 Psh. As much as I do around here, you should be paying me. 76 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,049 Ain't my fault you ain't worked at a business model. 77 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,784 Oh, okay now. 78 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,686 Tony, what's really going on? 79 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,089 Just a little stressed about money, that's all. 80 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:13,494 Oh! Baby, don't be stressed. 81 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:17,231 I know, I know money is a little tight right now but we always work it out. 82 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,699 Yeah, but it's the holidays. 83 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,134 I want my family to feel the warmth of the holiday season. 84 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,405 Alright well, maybe I get a part-time job 85 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,375 or I can try and sell some paintings. 86 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,644 Oh really, okay I know yeah, 87 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,581 That might not be a good idea, it's been awhile seen I tried to paint. 88 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,649 I don't know, you should hang out with them little thugs up the street. 89 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,984 It's amazing what they do with a paint can. 90 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,186 Psssh. 91 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,589 Oh you know what, listen honestly baby, 92 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,824 if me and the kids need to make some Christmas cutbacks 93 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,659 we can, I'm sure they'll understand. 94 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,296 All right, what'd you have in mind? 95 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,630 Maybe we won't get a tree. 96 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,064 Oh no. That's just sad. 97 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,733 I've had a tree every Christmas of my life. 98 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,469 Or we can, you know, chop down our own and 99 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:58,672 make it like a little family activity. That's be cute. 100 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,007 You trust Devin with an axe? 101 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,576 Hmm yeah, I don't trust Devin with a fork. 102 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,546 [Chuckling] Have to change his name to Paul Cut-Off-Your-Bunions. 103 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,048 [Laughing] -You on a roll, huh? -Mmm. 104 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,551 Baby, oh, oh, I got it. 105 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,486 Good idea. We do Secret Santa. 106 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,655 Ain't no secret I'm Santa around here. 107 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:18,659 No, Secret Santa! Where everybody randomly buys one 108 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,929 person a gift instead of buying multiple gifts and wasting all that money. 109 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,565 Hm. That's actually not a bad idea. 110 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,401 Yeah. And I have another good idea. 111 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:27,968 Huh? 112 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:31,439 Come to bed and I'll... [Whispering] 113 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,308 Ooh! Go ahead and jingle my bells, then! 114 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:38,245 [Laughing] 115 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:52,393 [Instrumental music] 116 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,996 [Talking over each other] 117 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,166 All righty. So ok, so, listen heres how Secret Santa, works. 118 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:02,135 It's really simple, you basically pull a name out of this hat. 119 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,972 And which ever name you draw is the person you get a gift for. 120 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,074 Okay, hold on. 121 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:11,044 Correct me if I'm wrong because I did fail math last semester. 122 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,848 But according to my calculations, this means I'm only getting one present. 123 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:19,086 Yeah, I'm with Devin. We're kids! We should be getting hundreds of presents. 124 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,490 You'll get hundreds of presents when you're making hundreds of dollars. 125 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,256 [Laughing] 126 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,659 Now I'm all for this Secret Santa thing. I think it'll be fun. 127 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,795 Hm. You're broke, huh, Dad? 128 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,430 I'm not broke, we broke. 129 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,164 Dad, let me borrow a couple thousand. 130 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,066 What, so I can be broke, too? 131 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,067 Hell no! 132 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,471 I'm sad Grandma won't be here with us for Christmas. 133 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,708 Yes, so she can't spend all that money on them gifts. 134 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:45,145 Well, she's spending all of my money on a trip to New York to see some Broadway plays. 135 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,414 How'd you get out of that trip? 136 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,416 Well, she knows I hate plays. 137 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:52,319 Last time we went to New York, we went to see Cats. 138 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:57,357 But all I remember seeing was rats. Big ass rats. 139 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,729 I'm all for the whole Secret Santa-y thing, whatever it's called. 140 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,164 But, um, I couldn't help but notice that there's one person 141 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,934 here who's not actually a part of this family. 142 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:13,240 And I'm not pointing fingers but his name rhymes with Ronnie. 143 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,076 And that always rhymes with, not funny. 144 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:16,777 I'm serious. 145 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,778 Yeah, so am I. Man, look 146 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:21,849 I'm more a part of this family than both of y'all! I'm over here every single day. 147 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:22,783 And not mention... 148 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:29,657 [Yelling simultaneously] 149 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,259 Enough! 150 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,327 We're all family, okay? 151 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,629 So just deal with it. 152 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:41,068 Lisa's right, y'all. Family comes first and family sticks together. 153 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,202 Thank you, Donnie. 154 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:42,903 No problem. 155 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,739 Okay, let's get started. Who wants to go...you wanna go? 156 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:46,840 - Ah, yes. - All right. 157 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,377 -Got it. -Got it. 158 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,879 [All talking] 159 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,114 If I could get something cool, that'd be dope, you know. 160 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,049 Get something new as far as put on my bike. 161 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,619 Wait a minute. Who is Donnie? 162 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,555 You just heard her say my name. 163 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,056 I'm Donnie, obviously. 164 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,592 Wait a minute. You got Donnie? 165 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,058 Yes. 166 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:05,993 I got Donnie. 167 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,861 Anybody else get Donnie? 168 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,464 [Simultaneously talking] 169 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,500 Donnie, did you stuff the hat with just your name? 170 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,368 Hey, man, you gotta play to win. 171 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:15,969 Gimme the hat back. 172 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:16,804 This is rigged. 173 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:17,705 We gonna do this again. 174 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,573 All right. This time we're going to do it for real. 175 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,643 The Stallworth Secret Santa is going to be officially on. 176 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:28,682 [Instrumental music] 177 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:30,884 Is Lisa out here? 178 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,921 Uh, no. Just your two favorite sisters-in-law. 179 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:38,258 No, no, no! Don't come out. We were having such a nice time without you. 180 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,927 I could y'all asses out if you prefer. 181 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,361 Please sit down, join us. 182 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,499 Now, what I'm about to tell y'all stays in this room. 183 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,201 We're not in a room, Dummy. We're outside. 184 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,637 You know what I mean. 185 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,371 Who did y'all draw for Secret Santa? 186 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,408 Uh, it's called Secret Santa, not Tell Tony Every Damn Thing Santa. 187 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,477 Look, I'm trying to switch with somebody. 188 00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,247 Um, I might be up for a switcheroo. 189 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,015 I got Darius. 190 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:02,983 What's wrong with Darius? 191 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,685 Oh, he's barely family. 192 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,454 He's just some old man who fathered half a man, 193 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,256 who happened to marry my sister. 194 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,293 Mm. Well, old people are easy. 195 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,095 I mean, just get him like some applesauce 196 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:19,533 or a walking stick or some new, shiny old fake teeth. 197 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,368 Hey, hey, hey! That's my Daddy y'all taking about. 198 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,571 He don't like applesauce. He prefers oatmeal. 199 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,504 Duly noted. 200 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,742 Well, I got Devin and that's tough for me because I am not good with kids. 201 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,845 I mean, what do I get him? Like a toy truck? Some Play-Doh? 202 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,513 How old do you think he is? 203 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,616 I just told you, I'm not good with kids. 204 00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,418 All right, well I'm down to switch with either one of y'all. 205 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,052 I drew Lisa. 206 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:39,787 Oh hell no. 207 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,688 Mm-mm, mm-mm. 208 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:45,092 Lisa, Lisa is hard to buy a gift for. She's very particular. 209 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,459 Who you telling? 210 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,295 I've been buying that woman gifts for twenty years. 211 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,597 She can be a little unappreciative. 212 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,832 Hey, hey, hey! Now that's still our sister. 213 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,400 Yeah, but you know what, he's right. 214 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,136 Because when you get her something you can tell she don't like it because she says... 215 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,772 [In unison] Oh. That's nice. 216 00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,172 Yeah. 217 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,642 And you can see on her face she's already planning to go return it. 218 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,777 Okay, so neither one of y'all are going to help me out here? 219 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,046 You're on your own, Tony. 220 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:06,680 All right. 221 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:10,217 Just scratch the door with your paws when you want to get back inside. 222 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,789 You know what they said in the old days. 223 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,025 Fellas, fellas! 224 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,793 Donnie, are you eating again? 225 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,295 Yeah, I'm hungry, again! 226 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,465 You know what, since you're always at my house eating up my food, I have a favor to ask. 227 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,600 Anything, Fam. 228 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,301 I need you to switch with me with Secret Santa. 229 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,203 Anything but that, Fam. 230 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,072 I drew my favorite person in the family. 231 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,073 Oh, me? 232 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,509 Hell no. Especially not with the attitude you've been giving me lately. 233 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,179 Dad, what about you? Will you switch with me? 234 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,347 Absolutely not. 235 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:44,017 I got Ebony and I plan on hooking my grandbaby up. 236 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,419 Now come on, Dad. What'll it take? 237 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,621 Well, son... 238 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:52,392 It's going to take a brand-new Cadillac and an eight-track player. 239 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,097 Dad, that's damn near impossible. They don't even make eight-track players no more. 240 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:57,798 And that is precisely my point. 241 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,098 [Laughing] 242 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,600 [Darius] Son, back to your swine eatin'... 243 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,171 [Instrumental music] 244 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,275 Uh, ever hear of knocking? 245 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,509 Ever heard of I pay rent? 246 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,311 He got you there, Ebony. 247 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,613 Okay, now I want to talk to you kids about Secret Santa. 248 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,549 Oh, thank God, we're calling the whole thing off and I get all my presents. 249 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,384 Not a chance. 250 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,454 I think I'm going to turn Jewish. I hear they get a whole eight days of presents. 251 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,456 They also don't have to work on Saturdays. 252 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:28,261 Oh, word? I think I'm so in. Shalom. 253 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:31,098 If you live under my roof you will be doing chores every Saturday. 254 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,701 Dad, that's religious persecution. 255 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:34,501 Just listen. 256 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,038 I came to see if one of you guys wanted to trade with me for Secret Santa. 257 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:38,772 You interested? 258 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,042 We may be. We got Aunt Lori and Aunt Rachel but we don't know what to get them. 259 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,545 All we know about them is they drink wine and gossip all the time. 260 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,715 Alright, cool! So, I'll get a flea collar 261 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:50,450 for one of them and one of y'all can have your mother. 262 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,952 [In unison] No! No way. 263 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,921 What's wrong with getting gifts for your own mother? 264 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,823 What's wrong with getting gifts for your own wife? 265 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,524 Not just your wife. Your baby momma. 266 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:58,025 Mm. 267 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,894 Come on now. You know your mother's hard to get gifts for. 268 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:05,198 Exactly. Even when I was younger she wasn't impressed by the macaroni art I made her. 269 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,735 That was this year for Mother's Day. 270 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,437 Even so, she wasn't impressed. 271 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,706 Give it up, Dad. We're not trading. 272 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,844 Hey! Brought y'all some egg nog! 273 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:17,377 Hi! 274 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,812 [Talking simultaneously] 275 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,848 I'll just take one of these and I'll be downstairs. 276 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,549 All right. Okay. 277 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,553 Any of y'all want to trade me for Secret Santa? 278 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,120 Who'd you get? 279 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,255 I got your father. 280 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,690 And I have no idea what to get him. 281 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,359 [Instrumental music] 282 00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:43,170 [Instrumental music] 283 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,339 Did you not learn anything about construction from Dad? 284 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,109 These walls will not be able to withstand an earthquake. 285 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:53,646 Um, this is a gingerbread house. We are going to eat the people inside. 286 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:57,484 I think they have bigger problems than earthquake proofin' they fake house. 287 00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:01,021 Hey, kids. Did either of you get this big box? 288 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,124 Oh no. That is way out of my budget. 289 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:04,758 Huh. 290 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,393 Yeah it ain't mine. 291 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,328 You think your father got it? For me? 292 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:09,729 Check the card. 293 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,131 No, there's no card. 294 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,365 Shake it. 295 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,835 Not a clue. 296 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,170 Dang, I hope he didn't get me something amazing. 297 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,772 Did you figure out what to get him yet? 298 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,573 Figure out what to get who? 299 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:23,510 Oh! Ah, just the person I got for Secret Santa. 300 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,113 Will you excuse me, for a second? 301 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,449 What, what the hell is this? 302 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,684 [Gasps] Did your mother get this for me? 303 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,286 We don't know, Dad. 304 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,388 Now what is going on over here? 305 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,290 That will never withstand an earthquake. 306 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,126 I tried telling him that, Dad. 307 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,027 Let me see here. 308 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,863 Oh, no! Your little roof fell off. 309 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:46,233 Really, Dad? You're gonna eat our gingerbread house before Christmas? 310 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,369 As long as your roof is under my roof, I'll eat whatever the hell I damn well please. 311 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,671 Mm, that's some good roof. 312 00:12:53,807 --> 00:13:04,284 [Instrumental music] 313 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,418 Hit me! 314 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,788 Donnie, you're playing Spades, man! 315 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,790 Okay, then I raise. 316 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,961 Okay, fellas. I'm gonna need y'all help on this one. 317 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:18,331 Tony, man! How many times I gotta tell you? I'm not going to help you bury a dead body! 318 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,600 That would make me an accessory after the fact 319 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,003 and you do not know what they do to guys like me in prison! 320 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,405 Please! You ain't even worth a cigarette. 321 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,074 [Laughter] 322 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,944 Look, I think Lisa got me this big gift for Secret Santa but I don't know what to get her. 323 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,946 Well, wait a minute. Secret Santa? 324 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,815 That's my game! Y'all playing Secret Santa without Rodney? 325 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,784 We didn't mean to offend you, but it's just for the family. 326 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,019 But ain't Donnie playing? 327 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,721 Hey! Donnie was married to one of Lisa's sisters once. 328 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,058 Hold on, hold on, hold on, Tony. I don't, I don't understand. 329 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,994 Why don't you just get Lisa a gift? 330 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,097 Come on, Dad. You've been married way longer than I have. 331 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,164 You know how it is. 332 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,367 And how do you know what to get your wife after all these years, man? 333 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:57,537 Well, it's easy. You just listen. They'll tell you what they want. 334 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,340 What they really want is just to know that you're listening. 335 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:07,780 Yeah, man. I mean, if I was married to Lisa, I'd get her one of those tight leather outfits. 336 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:14,454 With the back out. Some heels. Nice little whip. Mm. All that. 337 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,889 Why? So, she can dress like your Momma? 338 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,457 Oww! 339 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:20,427 Now you talk about Lisa like that again, I'm gonna whip you like Django. 340 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,662 Hey, as long as the D is silent. 341 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,264 Naw, now check this out playa... 342 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,800 Aw naw, hey man, I fold, I fold. 343 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:32,239 [Instrumental music] 344 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,209 Okay, you didn't ask but I would like to take a trip to maybe Cuba. 345 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,744 - That would be nice! - Or Puerto Rico. 346 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,513 Okay, Puerto Rico, can we just focus on my husband right now? 347 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:44,517 I know if we put our minds together we can think of the perfect gift. I know we can! 348 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,519 What kind of wife are you? 349 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,822 I mean, I understand not knowing what to buy somebody else's husband. 350 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,891 But your own husband, Lisa? 351 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,861 What kind of wife am I? I am a wife. That's what I am. 352 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,763 Can you just, do you have any suggestions? 353 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,132 No! You're his wife! Shouldn't you know? 354 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,801 Okay, fine. Tony likes sports. 355 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,803 Buy him some sports balls. 356 00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,739 Sports balls? Could you be more specific? 357 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:11,611 That thing, it's like this big and it is orange and they go, andquot;Ew, pass it! Pass it! 358 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:16,049 Whish, whish and then it's got [babbling incoherently] 359 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,151 Okay, Okay are you talking about a basketball? 360 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:21,955 Oh, child. I'm so thankful Tony ain't my husband. 361 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,090 I will drink to that! 362 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,626 Oh, cut it out! You'd be honored to have Tony as your husband. 363 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,895 Not me. I'm into chicks, remember? 364 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,132 Well, I'm into dudes, but I'll take a chick over Tony. 365 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,066 I know that's right. 366 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,501 [Laughing] 367 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:37,570 Can we just focus! Please? 368 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:41,074 I think his mom mentioned something that he wanted in his childhood. 369 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:41,941 I just can't. 370 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:46,779 Something he was lacking. Probably a personality. A neck. A better waistline. 371 00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:49,149 Shut up! Shut it up! You gonna stop talking about my husband. 372 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:49,949 - Okay. - Today. 373 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:50,583 Fine. 374 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:55,322 Geesh. You know what? I think it was an astronaut. She said he wanted to be a little astronaut. 375 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,325 Oh, how cute. He could be like a little Dud Lightyear. 376 00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,426 And you could send him to the moon! 377 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,727 And leave his ass there! 378 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,329 Yes, leave him there. 379 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:03,263 [Sighs] [Clears throat] 380 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,697 She didn't like that. 381 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,700 We could bring him back in a couple years, maybe. 382 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,202 After the kids are grown. 383 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,570 - Bring him back. - 30 Years? 384 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:17,010 [Instrumental music] 385 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,845 [Laughing] 386 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,647 That's what I'm saying. 387 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,114 All right- 388 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,415 [Laughing] 389 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,583 Not even on Christmas, Dad? 390 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,018 - Not even on Christmas. - Okay. 391 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,419 I'm beginning to like you, Darius. 392 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,020 Ah. 393 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,490 Ho, ho! 394 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,726 Donnie, uh, isn't it supposed to be Ho, Ho, Ho? 395 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,728 Oh, it is, but I was talking to Lori and Rachel. 396 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:36,863 [Laughing] 397 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:37,430 That's a good one. 398 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:41,034 I didn't know we were having Christmas pig for dinner. 399 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,403 Right. All he needs now is an apple stuffed in his big ass mouth. 400 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,272 [Laughing] 401 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,074 Whatever, Rocky and Hoodwinkle. 402 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,343 Tony, can I used your bathroom, brother? 403 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,711 Yeah, you know where it is. 404 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,846 Cool. Hey Rachel, you wanna help me get out of my costume? 405 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,515 Maybe I could help you take your mustache. 406 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,016 Oh! 407 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,518 Don't start with me Saint Thick. 408 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:05,492 Oh good! Everybody's finally here. 409 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,860 So, I think we should start with Secret Santa. 410 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,130 Yeah? Anybody want to go first? 411 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,332 We got Aunt Lori and Aunt Rachel. 412 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,200 Oh! 413 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:16,603 Here you go. 414 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,405 -Merry Christmas. -Thank you. 415 00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:22,109 Wine! How did you know that's what we wanted? 416 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,677 I mean because all you do is drink wine and gossip. 417 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,313 Oh, stop! 418 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:30,217 How sweet of you to notice, my babies! 419 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,184 She's so dramatic. 420 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,154 Wait a second. How did you kids get wine? 421 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,122 From the kitchen. 422 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:35,988 Mm. 423 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:37,924 All right, well. 424 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,794 Devin, I drew your name so, Merry Christmas. 425 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,266 A coloring book? 426 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,201 How old do you think I am? 427 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,002 I'm not good with kids! 428 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,138 Apparently! 429 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,405 You're welcome. 430 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,311 Darius, this is for you. 431 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,147 You just got that from the kids. 432 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,382 It's called re-gifting. Do you want it or not? 433 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,351 I want it! 434 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,753 Merry Christmas, Greedy Gut! 435 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,623 Let me get a swig of that! 436 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:15,995 Come on, man! You don't even suppose to drink no more, man! Prune juice! 437 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,900 Well, I have my darling Ebony. 438 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,173 Here you go, my dear. 439 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,642 One hundred. 440 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:30,143 Oh! 441 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:31,844 I'll give it to her. 442 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,614 I'm going to trade you the coloring book. 443 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,448 No! 444 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,484 Thank you, Grandpa! 445 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,254 Wait a minute. You were so excited to get her a gift and all you got her was cash? 446 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,991 Well, all these kids want from their grandparents is money. 447 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,594 Hell, that's all their grandmother wants. 448 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,363 See? You just got to listen. 449 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,232 Hmm. And I did just that. 450 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,701 Lisa, this is for you. 451 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:55,968 Oh. 452 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,638 You mentioned how much you wanted to get back into 453 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,241 painting, so that's a little something to get you started back. 454 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:06,846 Thank you! Baby! Oh, this is so sweet! 455 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,248 Thank you, Tony! 456 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:08,848 Mm hm. 457 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,082 I love it! 458 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,085 And I actually, I drew you, too. 459 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:13,686 Oh, okay. 460 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,523 And I really didn't know what to get you but I spoke to your mom 461 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,360 and she told me that you wanted to be an astronaut when you were little. 462 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,761 Ha, Ha! 463 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,431 An astronaut? Whack! 464 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,734 Shut your ass up. You, your big ass wanted to be a jockey. 465 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,870 Yeah, after I saw Seabiscuit, who wouldn't want to? 466 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:31,704 Okay. 467 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:37,076 All right. Anyway. I can't quite send you to space, but I can send you space camp! 468 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:40,547 That is actually very cool. Thank you, beautiful! 469 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,148 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 470 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,383 Muahm. 471 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:43,916 Really?! 472 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,819 What? I'm just...it's holiday. She looks like Santa Claus anyway! 473 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:47,754 [Instrumental music] 474 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:56,162 [Instrumental music] 475 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:59,332 Whew. Great. Now we don't have to do that again for another year. 476 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,603 Wait, if we exchanged all the gifts, who's this big box for? 477 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,005 Ah! That's for me! 478 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,341 I told you I drew my favorite person. 479 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:08,941 Me! 480 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:10,710 Oh, goodness. 481 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,285 Ah, just what I wanted! 482 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:19,886 Ribs! 483 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:20,587 Oh! 484 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,821 Ew! 485 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,356 How long have those been in there? 486 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,692 Don't worry about that, girl. They're aged to perfection. 487 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:29,228 Mm. 488 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,298 Mm hm. 489 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,165 Rib jerky. 490 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,634 Y'all want some? 491 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,368 No, thank you. 492 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:36,235 I'm gonna share. 493 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:37,304 Close the lid. Please. 494 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,271 - It's Christmas, man. - Please.